The Chronic Rift

Jay Smith is a six foot tall ape-descendant and a man Harlan Ellison once called "a great scam-man liar or a born writer." Because of this, you must decide for yourself what, if any, of the following information is true.

Jay once met and gave directions to Emo Phillips at a Philadelphia comedy club. He did not know who Emo was and the encounter continues to haunt Jay's dreams. Jay once found himself alone in a men's room with George Takei, though this was purely accidental and scared George who had been assured there were no convention guests IN the rest room at the time.  

In the event of the zombie apocalypse, Jay Smith will double as a flotation device. A recovering filmmaker, Jay is happy to discuss what NOT to do when preparing your major banquet production on a box lunch budget. His last five appearance at PhilCon also included panel discussions on parenting by and of Geeks, exciting ways to promote your weblog (aka “Making the Most of Your Mental Masturbation”), and How to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse.

Jay's only national television appearance was cut from a Connie Chung news special on the anniversary of the Three Mile Island accident when the director didn't feel his on-screen chemistry with another extra conveyed the proper sexual tension required from a random Middletown couple fleeing a nuclear meltdown by running across an empty street. He is, however, responsible for about 20 hours of public access television between 1988 and 1989, which means the statute of limitations for his many sinister crimes against art has expired.

Jay is the author of the stoner/gamer novel RISE OF THE MONKEY LORD called "Masterful", "Amazing", "A Natural Twenty", "The Stuff of Every Geek's Dreams" and "Incredible Fun" by several readers who were in no way coerced or related to the author. He is also responsible for the series of "aggressive vignettes" called BLUE COLLAR GODS. Jay also possesses his own weight in rejection slips.

In his spare time, Jay collects action figures, reads to his children (sometimes against their will) and writes audio drama scripts, including the un-produced space-western "Blackjack Masterson: Space Marshal" and the 2009 zombie apocalypse radio soap opera "HG World". His experimental soundscape program “The Delano Rose” remains popular with the hard-to-please and highly-specified “joker and toker” demographic, according to some guy who smelled like he might be on The Pot.  

Jay's dream is to write the novelization of the upcoming Ghostbusters 3 motion picture.  

Or cure cancer. Yeah, curing cancer would be awesome.

Jay’s website of projects, daydreams and products for sale is: www.3015north.com

Jay’s web-log is the memorable and convenient livejournal account “dr_p_venkman”